Jordan Schafer & The Cheesecake Factory

Seeing Jordan Schafer back in a Braves uni has brought tears of pain, and tears laughter.  The tears of pain come from knowing that Jordan Schafer is bringing his talents (?) back to Atlanta.  Right, we all know that Jordan Shafter will be relegated to the CRUCIAL role of pinch runner.  That's all fine and well.  But the tears of joy come from the beautiful memes, I see courtesy of #BravesFam.   And my, oh my there have been some good ones:

This gem courtesy of @BravesMemeGuy nails it.  First, Jordan Schafer can't hit so the idea of two absolute freak hitters searching him because he got a couple of "hits" is funny.  But really what's funny about Schafer tweets and memes is the arsenal of weeeeed jokes at #BravesFam disposal.  I mean, my God look at this guy:

                                                                 withleather.uproxx.com

Can't you seem him cruisin' around town in a Range Rover, smoking doobies, with a sack a sack of weed containing 25 grams of marijuana?  OH WAIT - THIS ALREADY HAPPENED .

And with good reason, Jordan Schafer gets a ton of shit for this on the internet.  Because when much talent is wasted, much shit is given.  But back when I first read this report, I skipped over a few CRUCIAL details.  And I mean - CRUCIAL.

Why was Schafer lighting up AFTER eating at the Cheesecake Factory?  This makes no sense and I want answers.  Everybody who is anybody knows the Cheesecake Factory is the most calorie filled, artery stuffing, Don't Eat This - Or That restaurant on the planet.  It's practically a requirement you light up a joint PRIOR to eating that food.  So what was Jordan doing smoking a joint after eating at this restaurant?

Frankly, this opens up a whole new jar of buds as far as I'm concerned.  Was Jordan Schafer, the burn-out pot-head we love making fun of, framed?  Dear God, is the goofy looking stoner in the picture above, not a goofy stoner?  OMGOMGOMGOMG.

After intense self-reflection, I've come to a conclusion on the issue.  No need to worry #BravesFam, from studying copious amounts of pictures, writings, and other archival evidence, I've deduced that Jordan Schafer is indeed, a pot-head.  Wheeeeeew, keep the memes comin'!

As it turns out, Jordan's high was coming down after eating the delicious, yet body crushing, meal at the Cheesecake Factory.  Hell, he's Jordan Schafer!  Of course he got stoned before and after.  Looking forward to seeing that approach all season at the Ted.